You know that feeling when you’re in your own little world, rollerblading, walking, driving, whatever, and you have great momentum going, you’re singing your favourite song, and you just feel good?
Then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, something happens that just sucks the cool right out of you. You trip, stumble, or, in my case today, a GIANT insect flies into your mouth. Well I was cruising along on my rollerblades, listening to Brad Paisley’s ‘Old Alabama’ & getting really into it. My mouth happened to be open at the exact time that a massive flying insect was hurling towards me & ended up flying right into the back of my throat.
Remember that viral video of the woman who fell off a grape-stomping platform? Well it sounded something like that, mixed with a cat coughing up a fur ball. And of course, it just so happened to be in front of a group of people planting trees. Well, of course! Any time something humiliating like that happens, a crowd just manifests! I had a choking fit, and I tried to cough the bug back up, but alas, it was stuck in the back of my throat. It completely broke my whole ‘free-spirited’ thing & for the next half hour, I was just focused on the unknown insect stuck in my throat. I think I swallowed it. I definitely swallowed it. Protein.
I am being haunted by bugs. I’m pretty sure it all started when I found a deadly black widow spider in my grapes some 4 years ago. They just find different ways to taunt me.
When I got back, all I could think about was a delicious lunch to oust my stomach’s memory of eating a bug.
I made one of my Lazy Pizzas.
- Chunky medium salsa
- Handful of spinach
- Skim Mozzarella